Wait...So That Wasn't Hitting on Me?

           Okay. So like, you know when you go to the eye doctor and they have you do that annoying thing where you cover one eye and read those ever shrinking letters until your actually just making crap up and don’t really get why the doctor continues to nod since you are now rattling off letters in Na’vi? Right, well, we all hate those tests, think they are a waste of time or whatever, but don’t you kinda wish there was some kind of test for reading those tricky signs of attraction (and the doctor actually told you when you started getting them wrong?)

            I know, I know, bad lead in but whatever you get the point (and I really liked that Na’vi reference.) But like really, haven’t you ever wished there was like How to Tell if He is Really Into You or Just Being Nice For Dummies or something? I mean, half the time we wind up mistaking common human decency for infatuation and the more desperate we get the more muddled those signals get. Hell! A simple hello and we’ve already got 500 save-the-date cards mailed out before the calligraphy is even dry.

            Truth is, more often than not, we don’t even have feelings for this person, but the simple thought that they might be into us has us picking out wedding dresses and engagement rings while obsessively stalking their Facebook page to see if any “skanks” are making moves on your man.

            If you are now thinking OH MY GOSH and making those circles around your ears to indicate insanity, than yep you are absolutely, 100% right. It is entirely ridiculous. Sadly, however, misreading the signs can have us on top of the free-fall ride, looking out over the whole amusement park of life, one second and  falling, at what seems like 700 million miles per hour, and praying to whatever G-d you subscribe to that you don’t plummet through the center of the Earth and burn to a crisp the next.

            So, there you have it, those pesky little sideways glances or slightly too long hugs that leave us elated for one second and curled in a ball in the dark at 6 pm crying and watching Netflix instant streaming the next, remain the wasp bites of the romantic world. Worst of all, though, if we are really honest with ourselves, we don’t actually want them to stop, because living without those fleeting moments of fireworks and self-confidence boosts is just as depressing as living with them. Of course, despite knowing this, we still constantly wish that one of the hundred times we imagine ourselves going out on a romantic date in Central Park with “that” guy (who just has to hold our hand or cuddle with us or dance with us at a party) we actually were right and actually got that happily ever after we so long for.

            I guess, at the end of the day it comes down to this: if every once in a while we got a win, if every one in a hundred guys actually called after they asked for your phone number, if every so often the guy that acts like he is into actually followed through, it would make all of the other times easier to bear. Unfortunately, for some of us, that one in a hundred chance is waiting for us all the way at number 99, and sometimes, just sometimes, we just can’t muster up the strength to make it there.

            XOXO

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