I Wish I Could Play Guitar

Let's face it, playing guitar is like the epitome of being a lonely heart. Why do you think that like every country song is accompanied by an acoustic guitar gently playing a simple melody as twangy words of heartbreak ring over them? I mean, the guitar, unlike the piano, is easy to pick up and keep with you whenever you feel your heart torn apart and thrown back at your feet.

So, anyway, I've always wished that I could play guitar. Not in like an "I actually want to learn to play guitar so somebody please teach me" kind of way, more in the "damn it would be awesome if I could play guitar right now and sing this really sad song that's bouncing around in my head and post a video of me singing it on YouTube and get super famous and have that stupid boy who made me write the song in the first place totally regret not asking me out" kind of way.

There's something liberating about feeling like you're able to share your emotions at the drop of a hat and that those feelings can be spread around to millions (but more realistically the two people and my mother who actually pay attention to the things I post) instantly for them to relate to and commiserate with and the like. Sure, I don't actually need a guitar to do that. I mean, duh, I have this blog, but a guitar would totally make me fancier (and have more becoming the next Taylor Swift potential).

But enough about guitars (for now at least) the point is that it's nice to know that you can put what you're thinking out there and that someone else, somewhere in the world, may find some solace in recognizing that they aren't alone in wishing that they could play guitar (see how I brought it back?) or more importantly, that they aren't the only ones who feel the pang of rejection without ever actually taking the risk that could have helped them find true happiness or who are so desperate to fall in love that they sabotage any potential chance because they're more afraid it won't live up to their expectations than they are of being alone forever.

Heavy stuff, I know, but that's what it's about. It's about feeling comfortable and confident enough to admit the faults that you disguise as immaturity are deeply ingrained values you can't break free of. It's about being willing to shout out to the world "i'm flawed" and find solidarity in a cyber universe echoing back to you in validation. It's about wishing you could play guitar and share a song with the world because you're just too full of emotions to keep them to yourself and maybe letting them loose will help you make sense of them or at least provide clarity for someone else.

And so, this is all to say, that I have returned to blogging. Lucky you!

                                                  XOXO
                                                           E